New Children's Aid Society Blog

Children's Aid Society has a new blog!

"The Adoption Place" will no longer be updated as we will now be posting on the "Children's Aid Society" blog site. Please follow us on the new blog where you will find current CAS/APAC happenings as well as interesting articles and information. You also have the option of subscribing by email on our new blog site.

You can also follow CAS on Facebook and Twitter!

Thanks for joining us!

Expecting the Unexpected

"Parents of newborns, whether through adoption or birth, can follow a mostly predictable pattern. When the baby cries, he's hungry, needs a new diaper, or is tired. If in doubt about a child-rearing point, parents can turn to countless books and websites, as well as family and friends. And each time they meet their child's need, parents reinforce a mutual attachment.

What happens, then, to children whose needs are not consistently met in their early months and years?

They become survivors, and they're pretty amazing for it."

This is an excerpt from an article entitled, "Expecting the Unexpected", that discusses some surprising behaviors, and parenting techniques to cope with those behaviors, that you may encounter when adopting a toddler or older child. Check it out here.

Protecting our Children From Sexual Predators!

This article outlines how to protect your children from predators who engage in "grooming," which refers to deliberate actions aimed at befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child. Check it out here to learn how to protect your child.

Is It Really Possible to Love an Adopted Child as Much as a Biological Child?

Check out this article on the Creating a Family blog about loving an adopted child as much as a biological child.

Overuse of Psychiatric Drugs for US Foster Children

ABC News has conducted a study regarding the use of psychiatric drugs for children in the US foster care system. In the five states that they studied they found that more than one-fourth of foster children were prescribed at least one psychiatric drug. Foster children were also more than nine times more likely than non-foster children to be prescribed drugs for which there was no FDA-recommended dose for their age. Check out the article here for more information on this study.

Talking Matters

Here is another article regarding talking to your child about adoption. It covers the importance of talking about adoption, when to talk about it, how to start the conversation, and many other tips. Check it out here!

Adoptive Families' 2011 Holiday Gift Guide

Have you started your Christmas shopping yet?? Adoptive Families magazine has complied a list of online stores that sell adoption memorabilia including Lifebooks, jewelry, children's books and a whole host of other gifts. Check out the link here and find some great holiday gift ideas for the adoptive families in your life!

Keeping the Peace

Holidays can be extremely stressful for every one of us! They can be especially challenging for many adopted children due to difficulties with emotional regulation. Check out this article for advice on how to minimize meltdowns and stress for your child this holiday season.

Surviving a Winding Road

The process of adoption is full of ups and downs and has its fair share of challenges. This article discusses how to survive the long process of becoming an adoptive parent. Check it out here.

Labeling Kids - How Much To Share And With Whom

Adoptive and foster parents are often faced with the question, "how much of my child's story do I share and with whom?" It's a hard question that is going to vary from child to child. Dawn at Creating a Family has some interesting insight regarding how much to share. Check out her story here and some additional insight here. What do you think? What has your experience been with sharing your child's story?

National Adoption Month!!

November is National Adoption Month!! Give an adoptive parent a hug today! :)

Laughter, Bonding and Adopting Older Children

Here is an excerpt from an article by Pat O'Brien about bonding with the older adopted child:

"Young people simply assume at placement that it is a matter of time before they will be rejected yet again and ultimately kicked out of this new household. The newly placed youth usually proceeds cautiously to protect him or herself from the expected rejection he or she believes will occur soon by staying somewhat detached from the new family and by resisting getting close to the new family.

How can adoptive parents of teens and pre-teens prove they are worth bonding to? Well, having been involved in nearly a thousand placements of children during my 20-year career I can think of no better answer than shared laughter."

To learn more about how laughter can help with attachment and bonding, check out the article here.

Making Peace with Missing Information

Many times parents do not have all of the answers that our children might have about their adoption, birth parents, and history. This article discusses how to handle the questions that you don't have answers for and how to make peace with the absence of information yourself. You can find the article here.

How to Help Your Child

Check out this video series called "How to Help Your Child" by Bryan Post. He discusses the best way to help your adopted or foster child who is struggling with emotional and behavioral problems.

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Helping Children Grieve

Children who are in foster care or who have been adopted have all experienced many losses. Loss of birth parents and siblings, loss of friends, schools, pets, toys, stability, control, etc. Because they have experienced many losses, they must go through the grieving process in order to heal. This article talks about how to help your child that is grieving. It is not written specifically about children in foster care or adoption, but it has some great suggestions to help you understand what your child is experiencing and how to help them heal. Check it out here.

APAC offers opportunities for families and professionals to increase their knowledge of permanency related subjects. Educational Training services are available to all adoptive families, all foster families, all professionals serving adoptive and foster families, kinship care families, and DHR waiting families.

To schedule a presentation for your group or organization, complete our training contact form.

Upcoming Statewide Trainings
How To Create Healing for Adopted Children
APAC is proud to present this free one-day training for professionals serving adopted children. The dynamic practice of love-based therapy and parenting diminishes behaviors, prevents disruptions, and builds strong, lasting adoption placements.

Training Highlights:
- Impact of stress and trauma on the developing brain.
- Combatting challenges of adoption.
- Preventing adoption disruption.
- Helping children take responsibility.
- Family-centered treatment with attachment challenged children.
- Creating a therapeutic environment for children who have experienced early life trauma.
- Assimilating connections to trauma for all family members.

Continuing Education Credits
5.5 CEUs for LPC and Social Workers

Schedule
8:30am: Registration
9am-4pm: Training
lunch on your own

•Monday, November 7
Weatherly Heights Baptist Church
1306 Cannstatt Drive
Huntsville, AL 35803

•Tuesday, November 8
Church at Brook Hills Student Center
3145 Brook Highland Parkway
Birmingham AL, 35242

•Wednesday, November 9
Alabama Public Library Service
6030 Monticello Drive
Montgomery, Alabama 36130

•Thursday, November 10
Mobile County Department of Human Resources
3103 Airport Blvd, Room 601
Mobile, AL 36633

To Register, go to www.childrensaid.org

Talking With Children About Adoption

The Center For Adoption Support and Education (C.A.S.E.) is offering a webinar again on "Talking With Children About Adoption". "Parents often lack confidence when it comes to discussing adoption with their children. This webinar teaches parents what children think and feel about adoption at different developmental stages and how to share their child's adoption story. Ms. Singer will address participants' specific concerns and questions regarding "what, when and how" to share difficult/sensitive information as well as how to respond to children's questions. Participants will learn how to initiate comfortable communication with children who do not ask questions. Learn about 52 Ways to Talk about Adoption, a new game C.A.S.E. created to facilitate family discussion of adoption."

Check out the link here for more information and to sign up.

The 2011 Adoption Guide

Here is a link to the 2011 Adoption Guide. It is a great resource for families that are just getting started in the adoption process. You can download the entire resource for free through this website!

My Forever Family

Song written by Tommy Byrd and Ande Rasmussen


In my life I've
Never known
Where it is
That I belong
Maybe you could
Be that place for me
This I wish
This I pray
This I hope
And dream some day
I will find my forever
Family

Chorus
Take a look at me
There's so much to see
Who I am and all I can be
You can't change the world
But you can change mine for me
Take a look in your heart and see
If there's a place there for me
Could we be a forever family
Could we be a forever family

A day becomes
A week so fast
And Soon another
Year has passed
And I'm still here
Waiting hopefully
Someday soon
I just know
Like the dream
I can't let go
I will find my forever
Family

Chorus Repeats

In my life I've
Never known
Where it is
That I belong
Maybe you could
Be that place for me
This I wish
This I pray
This I hope
And dream some day
I will find my forever
Forever Family

Check out this website to listen to the song and this website to read more about the song.

Human Connections Start With A Friendly Touch

This is a really neat article about how friendly touch can help build feelings of trust and form connections with other people. A word of caution though, do be aware of what YOUR child considers friendly touch. Some children who have been abused do not like being touched in any way. Know what YOUR child needs. Check it out here.